


We met because my ex is awful

by snappy_nincompoop



Series: You and I make a good pair, don't you think? [1]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Fluff, I just saw my ex pls help AU, SO MUCH FLUFF, coffee shop AU, i got an urge to write, so this happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-26
Updated: 2015-11-26
Packaged: 2018-05-03 10:34:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5287376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snappy_nincompoop/pseuds/snappy_nincompoop
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend.” She looks unimpressed. “Look, over at that table? That’s my ex. She won’t leave me alone. We had a long relationship, and we had a messy breakup around eight months ago. She ran into me here a few weeks ago, and she’s been practically camping out here since.”</p><p>“You think that equals one hot chocolate?”</p><p>You groan. “Work with me here, buttercup.”</p><p>(Carmilla POV)</p>
            </blockquote>





	We met because my ex is awful

You’ve always liked coffee shops. They smell nice, you love coffee, and everyone seems to mind their own business. The latter may be due to your glares and black clothes, but whatever.

You especially like this shop. It has bookshelves, couches, tables, booths, and basically everything a college student or young adult could want.

You walk in, and you already know what you want. Black coffee.

You’re at the back of the queue and you wonder how long this will take. All you want to do is sit down before last week’s hookup manages to spot you again. You’ve seen her here before, but you’re not giving up coming to the best coffee shop to not see her. 

The baristas are both redheads, which, how does that happen? And one of them looks taller than six feet. It looks like there’s a pole up her ass. Her tag says ‘Danny’. You already want to annoy her. The other one, making drinks, has curly hair and seems uptight. Her tag says ‘Perry’, and you know of her because LaFontaine can never shut up about her.

You came here with LaF, who is just behind you, and is talking your ear off about their new science experiment. Something about mutant mushrooms and their effect on anglerfish. 

The person in front of you is shorter than you; at least that’s what you think. She’s got honey-brown hair and a really cute smile and- no. You’re not here to pick her up. You’re here for coffee. 

You see your ex, Ell. Hell, she can’t manage to stay out of your life, can she? You two broke up a while ago, and you’re over her, but she doesn’t seem to be over you.

You cut off LaF’s excessive talking.

“Ell’s here.”

“Shit, what do you want me to do?”

You hadn’t thought this far ahead.

“Um, be my partner?”

“Dude. No. I’ve got Perry. And Ell already knows that we’d never date.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah.”

You can’t just be unprepared. She’s ruthless, and without someone you can have your arm around, she’s never leave you alone.

“Hey Danny!” You hear a high-pitched voice say.

“Hey Laura. The usual?”

“Yep!”

It’s the tiny cupcake standing right in front of you, and you hope that she’s nice. If not, you just wasted three dollars.

She’s digging around in her pockets for some money, but you put a five on the counter. 

“Allow me.” You say, putting on your charming smile and placing a hand on the small of her back. You can practically feel her blush from where you stand. You hear her squeak out a thank you, and you add your black coffee to the order. Danny is glaring at you. You didn’t even try to annoy her, but here you are. You turn to glance at LaF, and they are giving you thumbs up with a comical wink. You glare, but all they do is laugh. You can see Ell looking at you, frowning. Good.

You still have your hand on Laura’s back when you two get your coffees. You steer her to an unoccupied booth. You sit down next to her, rather than across. You consider waiting until you two know each other to put your arm around her shoulders, but you’d never been one for patience.

She seems to sink into your side, and she fits perfectly. You decide you like it. 

You think she does too.

“So, are you going to tell me your name, or why you paid for my hot chocolate?” She asks, with her nose scrunched up. It looks cute.

“Well, sweetheart, I’m Carmilla. And since I paid for your coffee, you now owe me a favor.”

“My name is Laura.”

“Okay, creampuff, but can you help me out here?”

“If you call me Laura, then maybe.”

“Not happening, cupcake.” Her nose scrunches up more. “I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend.” She looks unimpressed. “Look, over at that table? That’s my ex. She won’t leave me alone. We had a long relationship, and we had a messy breakup around eight months ago. She ran into me here a few weeks ago, and she’s been practically camping out here since.”

“You think that equals one hot chocolate?”

You groan. “Work with me here, buttercup.” 

She considers it for a moment, and you start to realize that she’s not only cute, but also hot. You picked a girl who you actually like so far. LaF will never let you hear the end of this. 

“Fine,” She says, “But we need to get the details down. Like, how long have we been together? Favorite thing to do? What is your favorite TV show? Favorite color? Coffee order? Favorite animal? Do you have siblings? Have I met them? Have I met your parents? Who are your friends, and-“

You cut her off, because you’re not sure if she could talk that fast much longer without taking a breath. “Whoa, creampuff, slow down.” She gives a sheepish smile. “Okay, how about six months? That leaves two months between when Ell and I broke up, and meeting you.”

She nods, but still has an expectant glint in her eyes. You sigh. Leave it to you to pick a cute, but annoying girl. 

“Look at the stars or read, I don’t really watch a lot of TV, black,” You raise your coffee cup, “Again, black, a panther, I have three siblings, Mattie, Will and JP, sure, absolutely not, and sure.”

She nods along with your answers, until when you answer for your parents. 

“Why an ‘absolutely not’ to meeting the parents?” She sees the look on your face and you can immediately see she feels guilty. “Not that it’s a bad thing, I just, I’d bring you to meet my dad, but, if, you know, you-“

You cut her off again. “Mother and I don’t really see eye to eye. I’ll leave it at that.”

She nods. “So, what do you do? I’m a journalist for the newspaper. And, my answers are, um, write, Doctor Who, yellow, I prefer hot chocolate, a puppy, no siblings, so no, yes, and yes.” As she says her answers to her own question, she counts with her fingers. So she’s dorky, too. Doctor Who? She, LaF, and JP would get along great.

“I’m an English professor at the nearby college.” Then a thought occurred to you, “How old are you, sweetheart?”

“I’m twenty nine.” You sigh in relief. She looks much younger. “I’m not lying, I know I look like I’m seventeen, but I’m not. And you?”

You laugh. “Good. I’m thirty one.”

At this point, you’d forgotten Ell was even in the coffee shop. You feel like you’re on an actual date. 

“Hey Carmilla! Long time no see, huh?”

You stiffen. Laura seems to notice, and she directs her attention from you to Ell.

“Yeah. I guess so.” Your reply could not have been more annoyed even if you tried.

“Who’s this? I thought you were waiting for me.”

“This is Laura. My girlfriend. And why would I wait for you? You’re the one who ended things.”

Ell considers it, and then you read her face and see that she doesn’t believe you. You think that you’d never been angrier with her.

“Well,” Ell gets closer to you, and ignores Laura’s presence entirely, “I’m right here babe.”

Laura shifts, and seems to be as angry as you are. You can see her clench her jaw. 

“Well,” Laura mimics Ell’s voice, “I’m right here, and who in hell or Hogwarts are you calling babe?” Laura sits up straighter, and pushes your arm off her shoulders. You’re suddenly very glad that you’re sitting between them. 

Laura looks pissed off. You have to admit, it’s hot. 

In a desperate attempt to control the situation, you put your arm around Laura’s waist. You don’t want her to climb over the table and get in a physical fight. Not like you could stop her. She’s a tiny ball of rage right now, and you really don’t want to be in her path of destruction.

Ell smirks, “She’s using you to get back at me honey. As if she’d settle for you after being with me.” Ell moves closer to Laura’s face with every word, and Laura’s not backing down. 

You didn’t think that you could be this turned on by someone just being jealous. But, here you are, turned on by Laura. Who is a practical stranger, being jealous over you. Weird day.

“I’d think otherwise. Did she ever tell you that she loves you more than once a day? Did she ever tell you that no one else matters? Like that blonde bimbo that she dated a while back, but decided that she wasn’t important enough to tell her name? That she’d never seen something as beautiful? That she’d give up all the stars in the sky for me? That she’d run away with me?”

With every question, you see Ell’s face fall. You can see her breaking. You’d loved her, but you never said things like that. You weren’t affectionate. After a while, she broke it off because you weren’t devoting yourself to her. You still wanted freedom. She didn’t like that, or how you loved the stars, or how you never wanted to give up your life for her. You know that this is breaking her. You just don’t know how Laura seems to know what to say. 

You put your arm around Laura’s shoulders again. She smiles and looks up at you, and you can’t help but give a small smile in return. She’s cute. You decide that you might want to take her on a date later. You kiss her forehead. 

You can practically hear LaF’s voice, repeatedly saying “Whipped” and making whip noises. 

You can’t bring yourself to care.

Laura notices how Ell’s face has fallen. She smirks, and damn you know that you want to take Laura on a real date. Without any appearances by an ex.

Again, today is a weird day.

“So, you can leave. Like, now. Our coffee is getting cold.” You hear Laura huff, because your drinks are cold. And Ell leaves, throwing glares over her shoulder.

“So, Carm, was I a good girlfriend?” She asks, turning to me after watching Ell exit the coffee shop. 

“Yeah, cupcake, you ar- were.” You stumble over your words, hoping Laura doesn’t notice.

She does, if the growing smile on her face is any indication.

“Were you about to say I am? As in, present tense?”

“No.”

“Yes you were I heard it.”

“If you were so confident, then why did you ask?”

“Maybe you’d admit it.”

“Not going to happen, creampuff.”

“In case you forgot, my name is Laura.”

“I know. What I don’t know is your last name. Or your phone number.” Smooth. 

She laughs, “Hollis. Laura Hollis.” She says it like James Bond. What a dork. “And give me your phone.”

You hand her your phone, and she puts an embarrassing amount of emojis by her name. 

“Your last name?” She asks, looking expectant.

“Karnstein.”

You text her about going on a date. 

She laughs again, and you decide it is your favorite sound.

“I’m right here, you know. Just ask.”

“Would you like to go on a date with me?”

She smiles. “Sure.”

“One more question.”

“What?”

“Can I kiss you?”

Your arm is still around her shoulders, and hers are wrapped around your waist. When did that happen?

You decide you don’t care, because her lips are on yours and you’ve never felt better. You move your hands to cradle her face, and you suck on her bottom lip. She sighs into your mouth, and you can’t imagine the kiss getting better.

You two break apart, and you lean your forehead against hers. 

She smiles, and you decide you really can’t go without seeing her again. 

She leans in again, and you remember that earlier she wanted her hot chocolate.

“Do you want a refill?” You mumble against her lips.

She laughs into your kiss, and you want take her out to lunch today. You don’t want to leave her yet.

You decide that this is your favorite coffee shop. Not because it smells great, you love coffee, or the bookshelves, couches, tables, or booths.

But because you met Laura here.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a new writer to this site, so I don't know what I'm doing.
> 
> (I tried.)
> 
> I've always liked the "i ran into my ex please help" AU. And the coffee shop AU. Then this happened.
> 
> Please comment telling me if I should continue. I don't know, because I could do more one shot fics, or turn it into a series, or have multiple chapters. I don't know if anyone will even like this, but whatever. 
> 
> (I own nothing you recognize, as you probably can tell.)
> 
> Apologies for mistakes and if the characters are OOC. I tried to get the right feel, but who knows.
> 
> Yell at me on my tumblr. ( http://smol-gay-with-glasses.tumblr.com/ )


End file.
